This is why I unconsciously compare myself with others.

There is a part of me that is afraid that I don't deserve to exist.

So it wants to find evidence to justify it's existence.

If it can find someone it perceives as inferior to me, then that can temporarily placate its fear.

"At least I am better than that guy! Phew..."

But eventually it always finds someone who it perceives as superior.

That really gets it going.

Now it needs to think of ways that I am actually somehow superior.

Maybe that person is secretly unhappy? Haha, I bet I am way happier than them!

But what if they are actually genuinely happy?

Well then, the only reason is that there is some unfair advantage that they possess over me. Its not fair. I have been poorly treated and so was not given a fair chance to compete...

I am a victim.

...

And on and on it goes... It is very interesting. Why can't it accept inferiority?

I think its because, according to it, to accept inferiority is to accept annihilation.